I have had numerous requests (two or three) over my past year and a half absence to continue my blog, I didn't realize my posts were reaching and impacting the masses with such ferocity. When I logged back in to Blogger today and see that the page views have almost tripled the past year (over 15k now) and that I've had about 100 page views in the last week? Google must have a faulty link out there somewhere and people keep winding up here. Either way, I'm going to take a new direction in this blog, reshape it. I have numerous ideas, but right now it's stuck at "Simply Shae" - which I expect to change within the next few posts. As you can see the domain is still justadddietcoke.blogspot.com that is because simplyshae.blogspot.com is currently taken by an already booming blog by a writer who loves to dial up to the World Wide Web and chat with her gals on AIM after tennis or soccer practice.
If you have any ideas for new blog titles leave them in the comments section; I love alliteration, wittiness, trying to cram my name into preexisting words, and long walks on the beach.
Okay, let's get started. To get my writing juices flowing again I am going to use a good old-fashioned, elementary school, timed writing exercise. I expect this will be rusty, awkward, and tough to read because it has been over a year. I am going to honor 2015 with 15 minutes on the clock and just write - no editing, no spellchecking, just train of thought writing.
3...2...1...
Happy New Year! At this time I'm sure plenty of people have hit up the gym and cut out sodas, swearing, and social media (not good for the blog.) I haven't ever really made a set resolution list just kind of had a few unannounced ideas in my head of how I would want the coming year to be different from the last. New Year's resolutions seem like an early Lent, people cut out what they think will help them be "better" and end up returning to that in a month. However, I did make some set ideas this year and I actually said them aloud a few times. As a reward, I now feel obligated to make sure I at least attempt to do something with them.
I only have 15 minutes so I am going to just focus on my first resolution - Write more often. This was not just an idea for this blog post, this has been something I have been telling myself for the past year and a half. The thing is, I love to write. I may not be amazing at it but I really enjoy it, I love to talk about what is on my brain or what I see around me but I just need more practice. I also need to branch out more, I do this little blog but I also need to grow a pair and post some of the other things I write and be willing to change up the format some. My top post on here is my list about why I love Insanity, I might need to throw in some more lists, pictures, opinion posts, etc. Or maybe not.
I'd also love to see this blog be slightly more interactive...so friends, family, random people please feel free to comment at the bottom because feedback, good or bad, is good for me. I have a list of ideas for other posts and such, but I want to share what I am into - books I read, blogs I frequent, songs I like, things I dislike - whatever really. Those either have the prospect of being semi-entertaining or bitterly boring so I we will just have to wait and see. Maybe even add at the end of each post what I am currently reading/listening to/watching on Netflix/geeked out about? And how often is it appropriate to post? I don't want to overkill when I am flooded with ideas, but then I put it off and don't end up writing at all. Does it even matter?
Bottom line is that I think it will be fun and a good exercise for me. I also want them to be done without fear, I always feel like I am hindering something because I don't want it to seem stupid or for it to be cliche. But I should stick to my guns (resolution 2, work on my guns
TIME!
Slightly harder than I feel it should have been, but I did it and the buzzer caught me in the middle of a random side note. My final thought is a quote that reappeared in my brain while writing the last sentence in the 15 minutes, "The worst enemy to creativity is self-doubt." --Sylvia Plath.
And to expand on an idea from above:
Book on my nightstand - "Killing Jesus" by Bill O'Reilly
Book on my iPad - "Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can't Stop Talking" by Susan Cain
Song stuck in my head - "Say You'll Be There" - MO (Yes, it is a Spice Girls remix)
Currently playing on Netflix - Gilmore Girls. 'nuff said
I'm a binger, I struggle doing things that I like in moderation. Recently my most familiar binges have all been trumped by one thing, Netflix. I realize this is not a new trend, however I never bought a subscription to Netflix because I know my issues. I recently gave in at the beginning of August and haven't been able to turn back since. It all started one day when I was bored and had some hours to spare before going to work, by the next morning I had watched 11 episodes of Orange is the New Black (yes, I did go to work).
OITNB
Now that I think about it, this actually began in the beginning of summer when I borrowed a friend's Netflix account to begin watching Downton Abbey. Followed by getting Amazon Prime just to watch Season 2, oh and finishing Season 3 in 2 days just so my free-trial wouldn't run out.
I didn't really start detecting a problem with it until I started and finished the 5 seasons of Mad Men that are available on Netflix in about 3 weeks. It isn't the amount of time I spend watching that stuck out to me, I still get done what I need to do; I hang out with my friends, work at school, work at the bakery, workout, do homework (that's a lot of work for one sentence). But I started to notice with Mad Men that I would become more excited about certain episodes based on the writers and directors mentioned in the opening credits. Why? I don't know, it isn't like I can really tell a difference but it was the fact that I was watching so many episodes in succession that I started to recognize names and details I would normally never pay attention to.
It's after this screen they list the writers and director.
That's the beauty of binging. I become so immersed in the story lines, characters, and the details of the show that I become attached. I now understand why daily soap operas do so well and have been on forever, people become emotionally invested in the characters and the story lines because they don't have to wait another week before they can watch again. Watching Netflix, I know that my addiction can be fed in 15..14..13...seconds. Despite how farfetched the story lines become, I can still find connections to myself and a character who a) most resembles me, or b) I would really like to be.
Binge watching has led me to constantly thinking about whatever I am currently watching and I want to talk about the characters constantly, even to people who don't watch...because every good binge needs some form of purge. In fact the entire time I've been writing this dinky post, all I can think about is how quickly I can finish so I can get back to watching my latest obsession, Revenge.
Sadly, binging has gotten in the way of my reading. I spend much less time reading because all of my free time is spent watching Netflix or now that it's NFL season, football. But seriously, who cares? I CAN'T STOP WATCHING!!
Before I start, I realize it has been a long time since my last post and because of that I can't get the intro to Aaliyah's Try Again out of my head...sorry to leave you without a dope beat to step to.
I got a job at a local restaurant/bakery as a waitress/barista and I work there between 30-40 hours a week. I just started the summer workout program I wrote for our team, so I'm making it a habit to workout 5 days a week. I moved into a new house in the middle of April and I spend my Saturdays mowing the grass and trying to make it look halfway decent so that our neighbors (who for the most part maintain nice yards) don't have to walk out the door and stare at the dandelion forest.
All of these new things have been good for me, they keep me busy and keep my mind off of missing my family, friends, and Duke. I really enjoy working at the bakery, it makes me feel useful. It's helped me a lot with my patience, it think it's making me slightly nicer, and I'm learning how to converse with people I don't know at all (when I usually just stay silent). Plus, I like when I get to occasionally help with pie crusts or glaze sugar cookies.
Anyways, today is my birthday, I'm 24. Birthdays have never really been a big deal to me, my parents only let us have parties every 4 years, so I don't get too excited. I am not really sure if they didn't let us have parties every year because they wanted to save money or what the reason was, but I like to think they were teaching us some big life lesson. Something along the lines of no matter what day it is, you're still just like everyone else (wah wah). I kind of like it that way for two reasons: 1) nobody likes that person who has to have a birthday week, get over yourself , and 2) you don't have expectations of how the day should go so when people remember it's your birthday it actually makes you feel special versus expecting everyone to magically remember it's your birthday and being repeatedly let down. The Seagraves' tradition on birthdays is that you can pick out your birthday cereal at the store; growing up my go-to was ALWAYS Lucky Charms, this year it's Frosted Shredded Wheat (Wal-Mart Brand, they pack the wheat together really nicely so it doesn't fall apart in the milk).
I was really compelled to write a blog last week about how much humans were letting me down. I was really upset with human nature in general, I saw people being rude and selfish all week and I couldn't handle it. It made me just feel like there was no hope to change it. On top of everything, I was listening to this two-part podcast on Harper High School in Chicago that made me angry and eventually led me to be so upset that I cried...
...I'm 24 today and there are three things I haven't experienced yet that I wish or thought I would have experienced by now: 1) I've never been in love, but that's a discussion for another blog post, 2) I wish I would have been to Europe, particularly Ireland, Scotland, and England, and 3) I don't know what I'm good at and because of that, I don't know what I want to do.
I'm a person with a lot of interests, I have a lot of hobbies that I try and balance out as much as I can. I like to cook, play guitar, read, go outside, write, workout, music, sports, watch TV shows, and I listen to podcasts (My current subscriptions are: Bobby Bones Show, Dan Patrick Show, NPR: Radio Diaries, This American Life, NPR: TED Radio Hour, and The Rich Eisen Show). Those are the things that I spend most of my time doing, just sometimes I feel like I get so spread out that I haven't really found anything I'm particularly good at. I say "good" loosely, I mean I know I'm pretty "good" at a few things but that doesn't necessarily mean it's something I can shape my life around. I want to be great at something. For instance, my professor told me at the end of my last paper that I was a very good writer. The only problem is that I don't wish to write papers on educational theory and curriculum all the time. Plus, I don't really even find that to be true, writing is just something I like to do. I don't even sit down and put pen to paper or type things out, I just write things in my head. I make up stories (my favorite is The Adventures of Long-Legs and Short-Tail: The story of a girl and her dog), I make visual diary entries when I get upset in order to work issues out in my brain, and I write sections of essay type papers about themes in the book I'm reading. But that's not writing, that's just thinking.
I listen to podcasts when I workout, they take my mind off of what I'm doing and I just go into a different mindset. I like the podcasts I listen to because all of them tell a story in some form or another. I've listened to every Bobby Bones Show podcast since high school and it's become a part of my life so I feel like I'm listening to my friends talk. Dan Patrick might only talk about sports, but he highlights the story lines of the players, the motives of the administration, and constantly reminds me of why I love sports, everything is a story. The NPR podcasts I listen to simply because I like them, they're actually my favorite thing to listen to working out. I feel like I learn something brand new when I listen to the TED Radio Hour (if you follow the link, the last episode is actually on stories) it's such a neat show.
The Harper High podcast I was talking about earlier came from This American Life it was about a two hour show on the inner-city Chicago high school where 29 current and recent students had recently been shot. It hits on gang-violence, gun-violence, and tells the stories of the students and administration living through this. I was listening to this in the midst of people around me (including myself) just upsetting me. People just being mean. So, like I said, I was already angry and I'm listening to these podcasts over about 3 days and my anger just keeps growing. Now when I say I get angry I don't get mad, it's more that I get anxious; I get a feeling that I'll never be able to correct a problem, my stomach is in knots, I feel nauseous, extremely overwhelmed, and in this particular case I felt that all of humanity was screwed. And I felt this way for days. I got really sad. The last section of the podcast the narrator introduces multiple principals and superintendents from some of the most violent schools and school districts across America, he ends with the Miami School District Superintendent who last year alone visited the funerals of 44 students. That's when I cried.
I want to do something that makes a difference, I want to be useful. I have a few things in mind for the next step in my life, but what I'm leaning towards is something that I could very easily suck at. I'm not trying to end world hunger or anything crazy, I just want to be good at something.
***I wrote this blog about 5 hours ago, saved it, and then came back to it. It's slightly (and unexpectedly) depressing and a little bit disjointed; connecting the dots from here to there and back around again, but it's how my brain works. Listening to the podcast about Harper High made me think about my own life and how I want to do something to make a difference like their principal does, I think her last name was Sanders, she was amazing. But, I think she has a gift of working to help others, she can communicate with them on a level of understanding that others can't always reach. I'm frustrated I can't even express my train of thought on the idea and connect it to how I'm feeling in a way I think would make sense to everyone...I guess I'm not too good of a writer after all.***
Once again it has been awhile since I have posted, so here are some updates on my life:
I grabbed the wrong kind of toothpaste at Wal-Mart and I hate it. It makes me feel like I am gargling fluoride at the dentist, which in turn makes me feel sick. Luckily, when grabbing the wrong box I picked a smaller tube. I will survive.
I am currently searching for part-time work because I am full-time broke.
I should be doing homework right now.
Basketball season ended.
I've read a few good books and watched a few good movies.
I just recently got into snap chat.
You're probably wondering why this post is titled "M.O.N.K." well here's why...
I have had some interesting experiences recruiting this season all through the terrains of what I am now affectionately referring to as M.O.N.K. or Middle Of Nowhere Kansas. I'm not really exaggerating, I've driven down numerous country roads, seen more cows than human beings, and had no cell phone service multiple times.
It's not uncommon for me to drive down a road and randomly, BAM, a school comes out of nowhere in a town that doesn't even have a McDonald's. I had an interesting experience a few weeks ago when going to a town about an hour away. Before leaving I punched the school address into my GPS and took off....well the dang thing took me to an empty field. Luckily enough, I still had some service and was able to navigate my way to the actual school (approximately 4-6 fields over) and find the gym. However, I didn't make it to the game until the 3rd quarter.
The positive thing to come from this was a nice retweet from @GACoachProblems & @RecruitingProblems.
Another fun thing I enjoy about recruiting is to see the odd things that different towns do, everyone is either selling cookies, having a homecoming coronation, different cheers, and (my favorite) the pep band. Little did I know when I went into the gym approximately 4-6 fields over, I was about to witness the best high school pep band...EVER. I was just sitting there enjoying the game when between quarters I hear, a banjo. A BANJO! played by a kid in high-waters, a bow tie, and he looked identical to Anthony Michael Hall in The Breakfast Club, it was amazing (he later played the mandolin, so cool). The band also had two singers, four guitars, a bass player, a violin, and a horns section. They opened with Imagine Dragons "It's Time"!
Imagine, sitting and minding your own business in a small high school in M.O.N.K. and hearing that intro...then you look up and see a Brian Johnson look-a-like playing the banjo!
Now, Ottawa is not in M.O.N.K., it's definitely the middle of somewhere, so I can't complain. The past two weeks I have experienced something I have never experienced before in my life, snow, and a good amount of it. It was cool, we had 3 snow days on campus. I spent snow day #1 walking all in the snow, hanging out with friends, having a blast! #2 was spent on a bus going to our playoff game that we lost 44-35... And #3 was spent watching Perks of Being a Wallflower, TED, Silver Linings Playbook, and End of Watch. Loved them all except for TED.
I don't really know how else to explain a snow day other than pictures...
And a video of a snow rookie.
Apology by Ashley Parker Angel came on while I was writing this blog.
Welcome back! I took a short hiatus from blog writing the past few months. I'm not really sure why, I just didn't feel like putting the time into blogging. So, on that note, please forgive me if it's a little rusty. I'm warning you beforehand that it is slightly wordy, but don't worry I included pictures.
Since I last posted I have: been to Mark Twain cave, been a block away from where Amelia Earhart was born, visited the earliest permanent settlement of the Louisiana Purchase, read a few books, watched a lot of Food Network, History Channel, and A&E, survived the end of the world (congrats, it seems that you have too!), was told that I visited a Jesse James hideout...but the details are fuzzy, driven close to 2,400 miles, and I have missed way too many NFL games.
I don't really know where to begin with this post...so I'll start with driving 2,400 miles and it will help to explain the title of my blog. Apparently Shreveport is in an area referred to as ArkLaTex, Northern Texas/Southern Oklahoma is Texoma, and if you have any skills in deductive reasoning you will have guessed that MoKan is the Missouri/Kansas line. Arkansas is the only state I didn't visit in my excursion, but I won't even act as if I'm upset about that.
I like driving a lot. Let me rephrase, I enjoy driving long distances by myself but sometimes too much driving in a short amount of time ends up driving me batty more than anything.
That's a long ways.
A to B - 366 mi - 5 hours, 19 min: I had to make a pitstop in Marlow, Oklahoma for recruiting. I don't think I'll be back to Marlow to just hang out, but I can say I've been there.
B to C - 309 mi - 4 hours, 54 min: Before I begin, I would like to preface that at this point in time I was battling a mysteriously lost voice. After a game one day I noticed that my voice was really scratchy, I couldn't understand why because it isn't like I yell - I have the strong opinion that yelling at someone (especially a girl) does not motivate, cure, or solve any problem. I find that it usually just leads to self-conciousness and crying, both of which aren't really useful when playing basketball. But then again there are always a few butt heads who just need a good tongue lash. Plus, my resting heart rate is 56 and unless I am doing a physical activity, I like to keep it as close to that number as possible.
Anyways, by the end of the night my voice was gone and it was still missing for the next few days. Driving to Marlow I had about 16 bottles of water and 50 throat lozenges so that when I met the recruit I didn't sound like an odd mix of Christopher Walken and Darth Vader. Luckily it worked, but when I left the gym my voice began fading again. Following the game I had a 5 hour drive ahead of me and I didn't get out of Marlow until roughly 8:30pm. Now, what is a girl to do to stay awake at that time? Sing Taylor Swift at the top of her lungs of course. It was a fun time and I sang every note to every Taylor song at the top of my lungs and on key (duh)...I think I injured a vocal chord, but the life of a performer is difficult.
C (+ D & E) - 46.2 mi - 9 days: I hadn't been back to Georgepatch since September and I missed it and the people who live there terribly. I love Georgetown a lot, a lot, a lot. It makes me happy and feel safe and at home. I love it. Anyways, I went there to see my friends, my dad, Duke, and a few SU basketball games.
I really like watching the SU games with my 1.08, Kristen (who will be referred to from here on out as Keg) because we have a ton of fun commentating and meticulously deconstructing each move of every player and fan. This ritual was much more fun while actually getting to watch the games together because typically we are just text messaging everything while watching either the live stats or online and it's just difficult.
I dyed my hair on this trip. I also helped Kate and Keg dye their hair. Keg's turned out a little red but it actually looked pretty cool.
We (Lelly, Keg, Kate, & Taylor - not Swift), celebrated Kate's early birthday by going to the UT v. UNC basketball game. Safe to say we had the best seats in the house...
A pretty cool picture.
"It could be worse...we could be in that row right behind us." - Lelly Bean
"YES!" - Keg
More highlights with my friends...
To celebrate Kate's birthday we also went down to Austin to see the Trail of Lights. I haven't been there since about 4th grade so it was nice to see it again.
Kind of blurry, but the Austin skyline from the Trail of Lights
E to F - 346 mi - 5 hours, 6 min: This was my second Christmas since I was 3 that I didn't spend in Georgetown. It's just weird. However, while in Shreveport we did some fun things. First thing we did was visit Natchitoches, LA(pronounced Nac-a-dish) to see the Christmas festival thing they have had there for 86 years. It was cool, Natchitoches is the oldest permanent settlement of the Louisiana Purchase, it is also where Steel Magnolia's was filmed. I didn't take a picture of the Steel Magnolias house but I was in the house across the street for a few hours visiting the people who live there and it was cool. According to a reliable source, the movie is loosely based off of some of the people from that town and stuff. We also ate gumbo, meat pies, and bread pudding, that's very cajun of us. In this town they have a festival that starts like November 17th and continues through the new year and each Saturday they have a fireworks show. This was the best fireworks show I have ever seen in my life and I was told it's because, "the people in Louisiana take their fireworks very seriously." And boy do I believe it.
Downtown Natchitoches before the fireworks
Another thing is that people put their Christmas trees outside...at least my parents and like one of their neighbors did so we had a Christmas TV inside.
The American dream.
I also hung out with this guy a lot.
Short Tail
The trip to Shreveport was good! I watched a ton of movies with my parents: Lincoln, Red, One Day, A Christmas Story, Mr. Popper's Penguins, to name a few. Christmas day, the ArkLaTexOma region got hit with some snow and ice. This wouldn't have been a problem if I didn't have to drive back on the morning of the 26th.
F to G to H - 675 mi - 9 hours, 23 min: Things that do not mix - Texans, snow, and automobiles. I decided to go through Dallas because if the roads were all icy, then I didn't want to take all back roads for 10 hours so I headed to 35. Needless to say, I hit some traffic and my drive took me 12 hours and I got there right as practice was starting. That's either referred to as clutch, lucky, or dumb, I'm not quite sure yet.
H - a few days: I was in Ottawa for a few days just going to practice and lounging. It was nice. I also experienced my first like real deal snow. Snow and cold weather give me anxiety, I don't like being cold and I don't know how to function in the snow. I just feel like I end up living in a constant state of tension, and nothing is worse than being tense with cold toes.
Eh, mixed emotions
H to I to J - 599 mi - 8 hours 51 min: Southwestern was playing #5 Wash U on a Sunday and long story short, I decided to surprise my friends and go watch a good game of basketball. It was fun because my friends really had no idea I was coming to see them so they at least acted excited to see me.
Go Pirates!
Well, that's it. That's all I did in 2,400 miles.
Hopefully I can keep blogging, we will see.
I need encouragement.
Last weekend (October 12-15, 2012 to be exact) I had the best time I've had in Kansas yet...MY BESTEST FRIEND CAME TO VISIT! It was a ton of fun, seriously, that's the best way to describe it. Granted, we did spend about 2/3 of the time outside of Ottawa, but ya' gotta do what ya' gotta do. Sadly, we only took a single picture the entire time she was here.
My best friend, Katelyn.
Some of the highlights from Kate's visit were:
Eating some famous KC bbq at Jack Stack
Hanging out at a piano bar
Me being forced to go on stage at the piano bar by the pianist because heaven forbid I was talking to my friend and not singing along to his song
Finding super-duper cheap jeans (I got two pairs for under $30)
Driving to Kansas City in pouring down rain. 1) When I get into a car lately, it starts to pour down rain. So, if you are in an area dealing with extreme draught, give me a call and I will drive by for a small fee 2) It was a ton of fun to just hang out and talk and catch up and be best friends.
Watching Five-Year Engagement. I couldn't stop laughing, it probably annoyed Katelyn, but it was the most enjoyable movie I've seen in awhile.
Nail-painting
Hair-braiding
Story-telling
Giggling
I really miss my best friend. In the three years I've known her, we've been teammates, roommates, classmates, co-workers, sidekicks, gray ninjas, dance partners in an extremely well-choreographed dance to Ray LaMontagne's Be Here Now, compadres, Harry Potter nerds, partners-in-crime, amigas, besties. She's been my personal psychologist, tutor, secret-keeper, bad idea killer, hairstylist, motivator, and sister.
It's been really weird not being able to see my best friend. I'm extremely happy she was able to visit for a few days, I'm just sad I won't have anyone to braid my hair until Christmas! Just kidding, Kate ...kinda.
My favorite picture!
So I've talked a lot about how it's been a struggle moving away from my family, friends, and dog, and how tough it is that my parents moved as well. I've been having a really hard time with it, I'm an emotional wreck. If you add up the total number of times I've cried in my life before June 25, 2012 and compared them to the amount of times I've cried post-June 25, 2012, I bet that I have cried at least 3 more times since being here. I don't know why, it isn't like I have not lived away from home before or that I'm in a bad situation, it's just something I am having to try and deal with daily for some reason. That's why it's nice to have a best friend to talk to.
This past week, I realized that I just needed to do something for me. I needed to find something outside of Ottawa that I can do, something to get me out of my comfort zone and something to meet people, so I started to search for a group to be a part of. This was kind of tough, because I had to figure out what I would like to do with other people. I've been watching the CrossFit games on ESPN lately and I just thought that would definitely challenge me! Sad thing is that I make less than $2/hour and CrossFit costs a lot of money. Plus, I know if I tried to do that stuff on my own I would probably break a few bones or quit because I wouldn't be able to push myself hard enough. Then I looked up the KC Sport and Social Club because I would love to play flag football and meet people and it would be fun. But we are about to start season so I wouldn't have time, it's in downtown KC so that's an hour drive each way, and it costs money...again a bad option. Then, I looked up something I never thought I would look up...churches.
Don't get me wrong, I envy people who are religious because they are able to believe so deeply in something, that's admirable. I haven't gone to church since around the 8th grade and I started to go because there was a skate park out front on Wednesday's that my mom would drop me off at. If you asked me to list the books in the Bible I'd say Genesis, Exodus...um...Matthew, Mark, Luke, John? What's my favorite Bible verse? Ummm, duh, it'd have to be John 3:16. Why? Well that's a silly question, it's always written on Tim Tebow's eye black.
Told ya.
Okay, so it's safe to say I am not the most religious of people, I struggle with it because it seems so pigeon-holed, like you either think that way or you don't. A lot of this comes from people that I have encountered in my life that look down on others who don't think the way they do OR try and force it on you. Nothing makes me want to learn about a religion more than being hounded about it...
Anyways, back to my point. I was looking up groups to join, to meet people, to challenge myself, and to escape Ottawa at times. I figured that searching for a non-denominational church would be my best bet so I went to my favorite reference when searching for a new church, Google. I typed in "non-denominational churches in Olathe, KS" and got about 8 results. My biggest thing was to look for a church that wouldn't pressure me (I don't like that) and wouldn't ask for my money (I don't have that). Simply put, I didn't have a clue what to look for. To solve this problem I just read everything that they put on the websites, their philosophies, beliefs, recent sermons, pictures, groups, anything. I decided on going to Heartland Community Church because of their slogan fit me "A church for the unchurched" and they had a section for newcomers that made me feel comfy and I could wear jeans.
I think it was Wednesday that I was looking up this stuff and I decided that I would go on Sunday, that was today. Surprisingly enough...I did it. It was weird, I never talked myself out of it, I just decided to go and went. Needless to say, I was scared out of my mind and I felt like throwing up when I was driving there. I haven't been to church in forever, one of my good friends from childhood and I always jokingly called ourselves "Church C.E.O.'s" meaning we went to church on Christmas and Easter Only. I also only told two people that I was going, Katelyn and my mom, It isn't something I had to explain to anyone, I just felt the need to go and see what was up with it. I was scared, I was going somewhere completely new, foreign, by myself, it was just a really big deal for me.
I had one goal in my new journey, talk to someone. And I did! Sure it was a person at the info table and I asked her where the bathroom was, but she talked back to me. Mission accomplished.
Everything went well, it was relatable. I enjoyed it. I'll probably go again next week. I didn't feel out of place, I got to wear my new jeans, and I was brave. Baby steps...
So I've been a little busy lately and honestly haven't had much exciting to write about. Which kind of worries me, I feel like I haven't even thought a funny thought in awhile. Which points to the few things actually going on in my life other than basketball and the fact that I feel like everything I could do to get out of Ottawa or even do in Ottawa requires money, something I am having to be very frugal with.
Anyways, I pass my free time reading, watching football, and I'm really not sure what else. Remember how I tweeted Joanne P. McCallie a few weeks ago about her book Choice Not Chance well I finished it a bit ago and just haven't had the opportunity to write about it.
I just want to say/remind myself that I don't write these blog posts solely for reader entertainment (even though I am kind of obsessed with and I am always looking to see how many page views I get) I write this for me. That's part of the reason why I rewrote this post at least six times. The fact that I blab on and half of it still isn't worded the way I want it to be is because I'm trying to learn. Learn what I value and learn what I care about. Writing is the easiest way for me to figure out my thoughts, to organize my brain, and to really think about what certain things mean to me. I would do this the old-fashioned way with pen and paper, but I'm a terribly slow writer and a super-fast typer. Plus, this has the added pleasure of getting some feedback from others on what I say and I don't have to have a filter.
Coach P's mantra: "Choice, not chance, determines destiny. Choose to become a champion in life."
Since I was little my parents always harped on choices, always. Not just making good choices but mainly choosing how you react to any given situation. You can't control the situation, but you can control how you react to it. If people had a sign board that follows them around with their life theme written on it, that would be my mom's. I don't know how many times I have heard that and rolled my eyes and grunted and found some excuse to say back to it. But you know what? The more I experience and the more that I watch people try and figure out their own lives, my parents were right. So other than this book being by Joanne P. McCallie (Coach P), I was drawn to it because it was about how choices can dictate life's outcomes and I wanted to see how she models that with her teams. It was also nice to see someone with tremendous experience put into words what I have been thinking about, we have a lot of the same points of view. Some of this post is generated towards how I focus that issue towards a team, but also to behaviors in general...because there shouldn't be that much of a difference anyways.
The past month was great timing for me to read this book for numerous reasons. First, I've been talking with friends who are having issues in their lives on and off the court that have a lot to do with the choices they make & the choices that those around them make. Plus, the grad course I'm taking is about teaching philosophy. So while reading the book I am: taking a course on teaching philosophy, being throw head first into coaching, learning a ton from coaching a large group of people, reading about a coaching philosophy, listening to people going through issues that deal with choices, and trying to decipher my own philosophies. That being said, my brain's a jumble and I'm trying to figure a lot of stuff out and I have been writing a lot of it down. Also, my average shower time has dramatically increased during the past month because I do my best thinking in the shower.
**Before I start, I would like to note that I am not good a cheesy/motivational things. Heck, I hate sports movies for that very reason. I also get all of my motivational quotes because I follow "Sports Quotes" on twitter and favorite the tweets that I think could come in handy later if I every need to get someone motivated...that said, the things I am writing about I am not saying out of this book pumping me up or just mimicking what Coach P says. What I say, I really mean and believe in.
I took four major points away from Coach P's book
Nobody likes a whiner
Don't be afraid to make mistakes
Surround yourself with good people
Little choices DO matter
Genius title.
Nobody Likes a Whiner.
I am a pessimist, I think most people are as well. This is something that I have been working on, and for a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic. My sophomore year at Memphis I had an amazing assistant coach, Coach Danny, who was always so upbeat, she always had a smile, and she was just fun to be around. Her enthusiasm rubbed off on people and she made you want to work harder because of it. Not so coincidentally, she is now the new head coach at Kent State. She taught me the power of a positive attitude and a smile. I told our team before the first day of their classes this year, "Be on time, be attentive, and smile." This was followed by some nice eye rolls (even from myself) but the point of it is that a simple thing such as smiling just makes you feel better and it makes you look nicer. Positive thinking is sometimes a tough one to conquer. Sometimes, stuff just feels like it's in the crapper...but lately if I've been feeling a little down in the dumps, I make myself say 5 positive things going on in my life. Sometimes they're just little reminders of why I am doing what I am doing and why I can't let negative thoughts ruin a good time. I will be the first to admit that it's cliche, but it's a little something I learned from the 4-year old in the following YouTube clip.
In her chapter on whiners, Coach P talks about how to deal with problems. This is something that I have been talking to a few friends about lately, being proactive. It's something that I think I've gotten much better at the last few years. If a problem comes up in your life, don't just whine about it, do something about it. We are in control of what we want and we have the power to change the outcome of it. I coached middle school girls who turned into high schoolers the past few summers. They're stubborn and think that if they keep doing the same thing a different result will come of it. I asked them at practice, "If a door is locked, do you keep trying to go through it?" They looked at me like I was dumb, so then I said, "Well then why do you think that if you keep making the same mistakes and getting mad about it that your result will change?" One girl looked at me sideways and said, "hey, that makes sense." Being proactive doesn't necessarily mean that you will always like the new result, but at least it can help you gain a new sense of clarity and understanding of the problem. On top of that, you confronted whatever issue you were having and didn't run away from it.
Don't Be Afraid To Make Mistakes
One reason I loved Choice Not Chance is because Coach P was not afraid to give examples of her being wrong. Her most life-changing moments came from her mistakes because she learned from them. I learned at a very early age the most important lesson I think anyone can learn: get over yourself. People are funny, the stuff we do, how we interact with one another...it's just funny. I have been lucky enough to be good at laughing at myself. It might be a weird attribute, but I value it because it means that I don't take myself too seriously. I have also always been challenged, either by my parents, coaches, or friends, to get outside of my comfort zone. Anyways, having the ability to let your ego go (ha!) is the first step in putting yourself in a situation where you do make a mistake because those are the situations you actually learn from. Each component in Coach P's Choice Not Chance philosophy stems from a situation where she tried something and learned from it. It's admirable to see someone who has the ability to put their ego aside and learn by trying something new, even if it means they could fail.
Surround Yourself With Good People
Be with people you trust, who support you, who make you laugh, and who care about you and your goals. You know the old saying You are what you eat...well I believe you are who you surround yourself with. This subject calls for a Mean Girls reference, which is true for most situations in life. Cady hung around the Plastics and became one in the process. You model yourself based off of the people you hang out with.
I've been a part of too many teams, coaching and playing, that have not reached their full potential because of the mindset of specific players. Typically, these players have a strong personality that lends to teammates mimicking their actions. If they're lazy, other people think it's okay to be lazy. If they're rude, other people think they're allowed to treat each other the same way. Quite frankly, this is the part of sports that ticks me off, talent trumps character 90% of the time. You hear coaches say, "sports can teach people life lessons" but you see players who get away with things and get special treatment because they're gifted athletically all the time. Obviously, a coach wants the best players they can get but is it worth sacrificing character? No. I like to surround myself with people who have a like-mindedness as me. I don't sacrifice this when it comes to friends so why should I in terms of a team? I hope that I can remember the experiences I have had as a player/friend that apply to this and have it carry over into my coaching. I know two very smart women and successful former-basketball coaches that have both told me on different occasions that you can't change someone. I'll be sure to take their advice because, well, I believe them. The fact that you can't change someone requires you to put your own ego aside because it forces you to face the fact that you don't always have that ability. I can try to help lead someone in a direction, but it doesn't change the fact that it is their choices and actions that will show their true character. Coach P says, "every time you teach character it becomes contagious to the team" and alongside that, I feel that every time you don't teach character it becomes contagious. The more often that people are allowed to act in a way that sacrifices team goals and team values, the more contagious those actions become. The way a team acts and treats one another starts with the coach; that is, after all, the leadership role they have taken on. A coach needs to act out what they preach and act on what goes against what they preach.
Little Choices DO Matter
Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Every choice we make not only impacts us, but it affects others as well. Goodness, have I seen this lately. People think that their choices only effect their day-to-day lives, but if you're on a team or a part of any group that cares about you, your actions will have an affect on them as well. I think bad choices come from two areas - laziness and ego. Lazy choices are simple, you don't go to class or study because you're lazy, don't clean your room because you're lazy, or don't do something you said you would do because you're lazy. Bad choices that stem from ego are usually lazy choices because their easy to make, they're self-serving. I think that a lot of people overlook little choices because they have the mindset that everything happens for a reason. I have never agreed with this way of thought because I feel like it takes away from the importance of my decisions and it takes out the element of control that I have in my life. Saying that something happens for a reason is a person's way of coping with it. I've just never acquired that mindset, I like to think of what I did right or wrong, that allowed for it to happen. "We are in charge, we are in control, and we have power to change our lives." - Coach P
Excuse me for writing a lot or contradicting myself at times, but like I said earlier, I'm trying to figure it all out too. Coach P's book gave me a lot to think about, but she must know what she's doing considering the fact that she is the first coach in Division I history to win a conference championship as well as the only coach in NCAA history to be named coach-of-the-year in four conferences. I do have a number of role models who are coaches so I see a lot of different ways to run a program, but this past week when I interviewed the Head Men's Basketball Coach at Ottawa (who has had a pretty good career himself) about teaching philosophy, I received the best advice I have received in a long time - be sincere and true to yourself. You can model those who are great, but you can't try to be them.
We all learned as children the answer to the following question - What is the shortest path between two points? Answer - A straight line. This past weekend I learned that the shortest and/or quickest path between two points is NOT found in the states of Kansas, Arkansas, or Oklahoma.
I decided that since we did not have anything scheduled on our final Friday before basketball season started that I would drive down to Shreveport and visit my mom. I knew going into it that I would really only have one full-day, but I figured my mom would enjoy it and I wanted to see where she is living.
So, Friday morning I took off from Ottawa at 6:20am, hoping that I could cut some time off of the 9 hour and 45 minute drive - I mean, they always over estimate on time...right? I had asked some people if they thought I should go on 71 through Missouri and Arkansas or 169 through Oklahoma. Everyone said 71 but that they didn't know what to expect when I hit Arkansas. For some reason, I feel like that sentence gets said about Arkansas a lot. Another issue is that when I loaded my map it was 30 total directions...17 of those were just to get out of Kansas.
As you can see, I chose Route 3. Also notice the lack of major Interstates that run North or South through KS, AR, MO, and OK.
I felt good going in to my drive. I had a fresh cup of coffee and two fluffy maple donuts for breakfast, I was ready to attack anything that came my way. Little did I know that I was going to be in the path of a storm for 5 hours. Now, I'm not just talking about a little sprinkle here and there, I'm talking about a full-fledged rainstorm. I considered multiple times as I was white-knuckling the steering wheel if I should just pull over and stop, but the fact that my average speed was only 45 mph on an almost 10 hour drive told me to push on. Plus, I'm like a cat, I hate to be wet and I look for the quickest possible escape route. I would like to once again note that the quickest and/or shortest route between two points is not found in Arkansas.
This storm might look small, but when it moves in the direction you move it isn't so innocent. It followed me from Ottawa to midway through Arkansas.
As expected, Arkansas did not have much going on other than a bunch of rain and some really, really small towns. And it would have been a really pretty drive, had I been able to see beyond 30 yards. Either way, I eventually made it to Shreveport.
Spending Saturday with my mom was pretty awesome! I like Shreveport more than I expected and it was cool to get to see all of the places I had heard her talk about on the phone. I also got to see the house that they had bought and helped my mom pick out some lights for the kitchen. We went down to the boardwalk area and did some shopping and just had fun hanging out! It was also nice to be around someone who does stuff the way I do. That might sound weird, but with all the change that has been going on in my life, it felt like a weight taken off to be able return to a bit of normalcy. Even if it was only for about 40 hours.
Centenary's Gold Dome
Then, I woke up Sunday morning and left at 8 am. I took 169 on the way back to Ottawa (route 1 above) and it still took me 9.5 hours. So when I go to Shreveport during Thanksgiving, I will be looking for a plane ticket.
I really enjoy driving, and you learn a few things about yourself when you drive for close to 20 hours in a weekend. First, I really like being by myself. I just like to sit and think, uninterrupted, about anything that crosses my mind. My favorite thought of the weekend was - how would I try and survive if I hydroplaned out of control into a ditch since the last sign of humanity I saw was 16 miles ago and I don't have any cell service? Second, I really like teen pop music. I would like to send a special shout out to my girl Taylor Swift for singing along with me to and from Shreveport. Oh, and Jesse McCartney, One Direction, and the Jonas Brothers for their guest appearances.
Despite how ridiculous this picture is, it accurately describes my drive. Storm clouds - check. Taylor Swift - check. No sign of nearby humans - check.
Finally, I drank 6 Diet Cokes this weekend driving.
This post is dedicated to my love for social media. Social media is so imbedded into my everyday life now that I just can't help but love it. I have a twitter (@seagraves22), a Facebook page, an instagram account, and most recently this blog. I just love being connected to people with the touch of a button, I know that it is considered out of control at times, but I like it. In our first basketball meeting this season, I was even introduced as the team's "Social Media Contact"... I wonder if I can put that on a resume? Either way, you should still check out Ottawa Lady Braves WBB on twitter (@OULadyBraves) or Facebook(http://www.facebook.com/ottawa.womensbasketball). We live tweet from workouts, that's fun.
The sad part about social media is that people do not understand how to conduct themselves when they participate in activities such as status updates, picture selection, and tweets. First of all, people are way too negative. It is as if social media has become a contest for who can have the worst day. I'm not into that, I am also not into hashtags such as #suckstosuck. That is just way too much negativity for one comment, plus it means that you're making fun of someone's misfortune, more commonly known as being rude. As for picture updates, I love when people post funny things they see, their animals, or just pictures of their accomplishments. However, social media has taken picture taking to a whole new level. People, especially girls, have to attempt looking "cute" in every picture and strike the same hand-on-hip, butt-out, chest-out, turn-to-the-side, pop-a-knee pose all while wearing trucker hats, tank tops, and fake Ray Ban's and smiling their brightest faker-than-their-fake-tan smile...not cute.
Also, I don't think that people realize that other humans might actually read what they post. Curse words - not cool, talking about drinking - not cool, posting quotes about how much your love life sucks and you want to be with someone who doesn't want you back - desperate and annoying, posting quotes but not quoting them and saying, "I just want to say what comes to my mind" - plagiarism.
Social media is like today's business card! What you put on it can leave an impression on somebody. For example, the title of this post (#BlogSoHard) was inspired by a business card I received from someone at a basketball tournament where I was coaching. This certain gentleman wanted to train my players, I talked to him for a second and he was nice and all so I took his card. While I was walking out to my car, I turned the card over and saw this:
I am attempting to hold back laughter in this picture.
Needless to say, I laughed. Out loud. I also did not pass this gentleman's information on to my players.
Today, Twitter brought me one of the most exciting moments I've ever had, and was what prompted me to write this post today. It was one of those moments where I just totally geeked out, I can only remember a few times in my life this actually happening. Before I get in to why I was so excited, you need some background on my life...
I have wanted to be a basketball coach for just about my entire life, therefore a lot of my role models are basketball coaches and players. I grew up watching the Stanford Women's Basketball Highlight tape from their 1990 National Championship season. So I grew up admiring Jennifer Azzi and Tara VanDerveer. For those of you who don't know those people, I added a link to their Wikipedia page for your reference. I'm lucky enough to have a mom who knows a few people. She played for Tara in college so I have been lucky to meet her numerous times and work at her camp. When I was 8 I met her at a UT Longhorn's game and she signed a 3-point paper sign saying, "Dear Shae, come to Stanford. -Tara" I still have that in a scrapbook, I look at it every once in awhile. She even spelled my name right! And to a girl whose name is always spelled wrong, that means a lot.
I have also been lucky enough to go to six Women's Basketball Final Fours. The most memorable by far was the when my first geek out moment occurred, 2008 in Tampa. It was half-time and I was on a mission to get through the crowd in record time and make it to the bathroom. Of course, my mom had to stop and talk to someone, I remember being annoyed but I quickly forgave her when she said, "Wanna meet Jennifer Azzi?" Um, yeah, of course I did. I think my heart stopped, my palms immediately started sweating, and all I could think about was, "oh goodness, what do I say?" When I met her, I made a complete and total fool out of myself...let me repeat a complete and total fool. I shook her hand and stumbled over the words, "Hi, it's such an honor t-t-t-to m-m-meet you. I grew up watching the highlight tape of your 1990 championship," and next comes the worst part, "I-I-I'm such a huuuge fan!" (Followed by a very dorky giggle) UGH! what was I thinking?! Either way, I met someone who I had admired for my entire life and I still think about that moment probably once every other week.
After sounding ridiculous, Jennifer Azzi was kind enough to take a picture with me. I cropped out the sweat stains under my armpits.
Geek out moment #2 happened when I went to the NCAA Convention this past January. I was sitting at a table right next to Sherri Coale. At the meet-and-greet afterwards, I was too scared to talk to her so I just stared at her like a creepy person...I am probably better suited for a job as a paparazzi than I am as a coach with the track record I am way too quickly compiling.
My third geek out moment took place today. I have been reading Joanne P. McCallie's (Duke WBB coach) book Choice Not Chance and absolutely love it and I have been a fan of hers since her time at Michigan State. So, naturally, I decided to send her a tweet. Much to my surprise she tweeted me back!!!!!!
How freaking cool is this?! This is equivalent to an aspiring pop singer receiving a tweet back from Brittney Spears, or a scientist getting an @reply from Bill Nye the Science Guy. Needless to say, I jumped up in my chair and danced around my room breathing "ohmygaw, ohmygaw" because I couldn't manage air. I still have butterflies in my tummy thinking about it. I ran and told everyone in the house about what had just happened, I called my best friend, and I called my mom who said, "Act like you've been there before" (an appropriate answer if you know her). But the fact is, I haven't been there. I'm trying to get there. So being acknowledged by someone who is there, someone who has accomplished so much, who you aspire to be like, is amazing. I actually would be worried if at this point in my life I wasn't this excited. I feel like it shows how much I love what I want to do and how much I respect what the people I admire have accomplished.
I hope I have many more of these geek out moments. In honor of today I plan on starting a new twitter trend, where people can hashtag all of the awesome things that happen to them. I hope that it will overtake the negative #suckstosuck. This new trend will be #rockstorock. Cliche? Yes. Creative? Not really. Positive? Heck yeah. Because if you're using social media to talk about all of the negative things going on in your life, Joanne P. McCallie, Brittney Spears, and Bill Nye the Science Guy may not want to @ reply you!
***Special thanks to my mom, she has a hand in everyone of my geek out moments in some way shape or form***
Look at what Momma Seagraves is holding...a Diet Coke.
I had a pretty busy week so I went to sleep last night at 10:45. This is really early for me lately so I was pretty happy with myself. Sadly, I woke up at 7:30. I'm not very good at sleeping, it's a skill that I have never mastered and I don't think that I ever will. Yes, sleeping is a skill. I do not have the ability to lay in bed and try to sleep if I am not exhausted, it doesn't work. I just feel like I am wasting my time, why would I want to lay in bed if I could do anything else? I am unable to sleep past 8 hours unless I have just spent the last 48 hours without sleeping! So I was actually pretty surprised I even made it to 7:30 this morning.
The beauty of waking up early is that I can get a lot done. So far today, I have cleaned my room, vacuumed, ate breakfast, played around on my iPad, played some xbox, started some stuff for class, laundry, and am now writing this blog (It's 11:30)! So I feel accomplished. This is good because I plan on spending the next two days doing absolutely nothing but watching football. Right now I'm watching UCF v. Ohio St. My mom will be happy with this next comment, "Go Buckeyes!"
A week ago I went back to Georgetown to help my parents move out of our house. In reality it turned more into going through my stuff and hanging out with my friends, dog, and parents. I was pretty nervous going in to this whole experience because I didn't know how I would react to moving out of the house I grew up in. We lived there for 20 years, it was what I always called home. Even when I lived in Memphis or on campus at SU, I always referred to it as "my room," never home. Home is a big word for me, we had a thing on our wall for awhile that said "Home is where you hang your heart" and I fully agree with that. Home is where you're surrounded by people you love and love you in return, it's a place you feel safe, and a place that you feel rooted. I feel very uprooted right now. Yes, I am very lucky, I'm going to school, getting experience, and I do have a roof over my head, but I just don't feel like I have a home right now. My mom is off in Shreveport, my dad is in Georgetown until he can get out to Shreveport, and my brother is back in LA. It's just crazy. My best friends are 11 hours away. I don't like to think about it. New topic.
Duke in his new habitat
Upon all of the moving that has been taking place, Duke had to find a new place to stay. I feel like if you know me for more than about an hour you will know that I love my dog and you will have probably seen a picture or 12 of him. So, being away from him has been really tough! Luckily, I have some great friends who like dogs and graciously accepted the offer of Duke staying with them. I got Duke from the Gtown Animal Shelter over a year ago (April 4, 2011 to be exact) and he is awesome. He was a little rascal at first and he still has his moments, but Duke just wants your lovin' and wants to snuggle at any chance possible. He also loves to hunt, chase, catch, toss around, and bury squirrels (in that order). He like to go on walks, go in the car, snuggle, and sleep.
Even though moving out of the house was hard, one of the hardest parts so far has been being away from Duke. I feel like the worst owner ever, I abandoned my dog...who does that? It makes my heart hurt thinking about it. I worry about him constantly and I miss him a lot. I probably annoy my friends by asking about him all the time, but I think about him all the time. I can't help it. I just really can't wait until I can see him again and that won't be until Christmas so hopefully I can make it that long.
Other than looking cute and being an exceptionally patient hunter (seriously, he sits and stalks squirrels for hours at a time) Duke has one trick, rollover. Above is a video of me and Duke showing off his skills while we were moving.
I really miss home, Duke, my friends, my family, and Georgetown in general. The past week has been pretty rough, I cry a lot and it's not even under my control...it just happens. I'm really lucky to have a great best friend who lets me complain about anything to her even if I was sad about the same exact thing the day before. I have been trying a new thing the past few days, if I am upset about something I only get five minutes to be upset about it and then I have to move on. It usually works, but sometimes I just think about it a few hours later...but I get 5 more minutes then I have to think about something else. I'm not a bundle of sadness walking around, but I just think about the things I miss a lot.
Good news! I learned yesterday that my best friend is visiting Kansas October 12-15. I can't wait! So knowing that I will see someone who means so much in about a month is super exciting. Then I'll go to Shreveport during Thanksgiving and then Georgetown at Christmas. That is all the positive I need! Woo!
In honor of the excitement, I will end this post with a montage of Dukerson. Enjoy!
