Choice Not Chance

So I've been a little busy lately and honestly haven't had much exciting to write about. Which kind of worries me, I feel like I haven't even thought a funny thought in awhile. Which points to the few things actually going on in my life other than basketball and the fact that I feel like everything I could do to get out of Ottawa or even do in Ottawa requires money, something I am having to be very frugal with.

Anyways, I pass my free time reading, watching football, and I'm really not sure what else. Remember how I tweeted Joanne P. McCallie a few weeks ago about her book Choice Not Chance well I finished it a bit ago and just haven't had the opportunity to write about it.

I just want to say/remind myself that I don't write these blog posts solely for reader entertainment (even though I am kind of obsessed with and I am always looking to see how many page views I get) I write this for me. That's part of the reason why I rewrote this post at least six times. The fact that I blab on and half of it still isn't worded the way I want it to be is because I'm trying to learn. Learn what I value and learn what I care about. Writing is the easiest way for me to figure out my thoughts, to organize my brain, and to really think about what certain things mean to me. I would do this the old-fashioned way with pen and paper, but I'm a terribly slow writer and a super-fast typer. Plus, this has the added pleasure of getting some feedback from others on what I say and I don't have to have a filter.

Coach P's mantra: "Choice, not chance, determines destiny. Choose to become a champion in life."

Since I was little my parents always harped on choices, always. Not just making good choices but mainly choosing how you react to any given situation. You can't control the situation, but you can control how you react to it. If people had a sign board that follows them around with their life theme written on it, that would be my mom's. I don't know how many times I have heard that and rolled my eyes and grunted and found some excuse to say back to it. But you know what? The more I experience and the more that I  watch people try and figure out their own lives, my parents were right. So other than this book being by Joanne P. McCallie (Coach P), I was drawn to it because it was about how choices can dictate life's outcomes and I wanted to see how she models that with her teams. It was also nice to see someone with tremendous experience put into words what I have been thinking about, we have a lot of the same points of view. Some of this post is generated towards how I focus that issue towards a team, but also to behaviors in general...because there shouldn't be that much of a difference anyways.
The past month was great timing for me to read this book for numerous reasons. First, I've been talking with friends who are having issues in their lives on and off the court that have a lot to do with the choices they make & the choices that those around them make. Plus, the grad course I'm taking is about teaching philosophy. So while reading the book I am: taking a course on teaching philosophy, being throw head first into coaching, learning a ton from coaching a large group of people, reading about a coaching philosophy, listening to people going through issues that deal with choices, and trying to decipher my own philosophies.  That being said, my brain's a jumble and I'm trying to figure a lot of stuff out and I have been writing a lot of it down. Also, my average shower time has dramatically increased during the past month because I do my best thinking in the shower.

**Before I start, I would like to note that I am not good a cheesy/motivational things. Heck, I hate sports movies for that very reason. I also get all of my motivational quotes because I follow "Sports Quotes" on twitter and favorite the tweets that I think could come in handy later if I every need to get someone motivated...that said, the things I am writing about I am not saying out of this book pumping me up or just mimicking what Coach P says. What I say, I really mean and believe in.

I took four major points away from Coach P's book

1. Nobody likes a whiner
2. Don't be afraid to make mistakes
3. Surround yourself with good people
4. Little choices DO matter

Genius title.

Nobody Likes a Whiner. 

I am a pessimist, I think most people are as well. This is something that I have been working on, and for a pessimist, I'm pretty optimistic. My sophomore year at Memphis I had an amazing assistant coach, Coach Danny, who was always so upbeat, she always had a smile, and she was just fun to be around. Her enthusiasm rubbed off on people and she made you want to work harder because of it. Not so coincidentally, she is now the new head coach at Kent State. She taught me the power of a positive attitude and a smile. I told our team before the first day of their classes this year, "Be on time, be attentive, and smile." This was followed by some nice eye rolls (even from myself) but the point of it is that a simple thing such as smiling just makes you feel better and it makes you look nicer. Positive thinking is sometimes a tough one to conquer. Sometimes, stuff just feels like it's in the crapper...but lately if I've been feeling a little down in the dumps,  I make myself say 5 positive things going on in my life. Sometimes they're just little reminders of why I am doing what I am doing and why I can't let negative thoughts ruin a good time. I will be the first to admit that it's cliche, but it's a little something I learned from the 4-year old in the following YouTube clip.

In her chapter on whiners, Coach P talks about how to deal with problems. This is something that I have been talking to a few friends about lately, being proactive. It's something that I think I've gotten much better at the last few years. If a problem comes up in your life, don't just whine about it, do something about it. We are in control of what we want and we have the power to change the outcome of it. I coached middle school girls who turned into high schoolers the past few summers. They're stubborn and think that if they keep doing the same thing a different result will come of it. I asked them at practice, "If a door is locked, do you keep trying to go through it?" They looked at me like I was dumb, so then I said, "Well then why do you think that if you keep making the same mistakes and getting mad about it that your result will change?" One girl looked at me sideways and said, "hey, that makes sense." Being proactive doesn't necessarily mean that you will always like the new result, but at least it can help you gain a new sense of clarity and understanding of the problem. On top of that, you confronted whatever issue you were having and didn't run away from it.

Don't Be Afraid To Make Mistakes

One reason I loved Choice Not Chance is because Coach P was not afraid to give examples of her being wrong. Her most life-changing moments came from her mistakes because she learned from them. I learned at a very early age the most important lesson I think anyone can learn: get over yourself. People are funny, the stuff we do, how we interact with one another...it's just funny. I have been lucky enough to be good at laughing at myself. It might be a weird attribute, but I value it because it means that I don't take myself too seriously. I have also always been challenged, either by my parents, coaches, or friends, to get outside of my comfort zone. Anyways, having the ability to let your ego go (ha!) is the first step in putting yourself in a situation where you do make a mistake because those are the situations you actually learn from. Each component in Coach P's Choice Not Chance philosophy stems from a situation where she tried something and learned from it. It's admirable to see someone who has the ability to put their ego aside and learn by trying something new, even if it means they could fail. 

Surround Yourself With Good People

Be with people you trust, who support you, who make you laugh, and who care about you and your goals. You know the old saying You are what you eat...well I believe you are who you surround yourself with. This subject calls for a Mean Girls reference, which is true for most situations in life. Cady hung around the Plastics and became one in the process. You model yourself based off of the people you hang out with. 

 

I've been a part of too many teams, coaching and playing, that have not reached their full potential because of the mindset of specific players. Typically, these players have a strong personality that lends to teammates mimicking their actions. If they're lazy, other people think it's okay to be lazy. If they're rude, other people think they're allowed to treat each other the same way. Quite frankly, this is the part of sports that ticks me off, talent trumps character 90% of the time. You hear coaches say, "sports can teach people life lessons" but you see players who get away with things and get special treatment because they're gifted athletically all the time. Obviously, a coach wants the best players they can get but is it worth sacrificing character? No. I like to surround myself with people who have a like-mindedness as me. I don't sacrifice this when it comes to friends so why should I in terms of a team? I hope that I can remember the experiences I have had as a player/friend that apply to this and have it carry over into my coaching. I know two very smart women and successful former-basketball coaches that have both told me on different occasions that you can't change someone. I'll be sure to take their advice because, well, I believe them. The fact that you can't change someone requires you to put your own ego aside because it forces you to face the fact that you don't always have that ability.  I can try to help lead someone in a direction, but it doesn't change the fact that it is their choices and actions that will show their true character. Coach P says, "every time you teach character it becomes contagious to the team" and alongside that, I feel that every time you don't teach character it becomes contagious. The more often that people are allowed to act in a way that sacrifices team goals and team values, the more contagious those actions become. The way a team acts and treats one another starts with the coach; that is, after all, the leadership role they have taken on. A coach needs to act out what they preach and act on what goes against what they preach.

Little Choices DO Matter

Every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Every choice we make not only impacts us, but it affects others as well. Goodness, have I seen this lately. People think that their choices only effect their day-to-day lives, but if you're on a team or a part of any group that cares about you, your actions will have an affect on them as well. I think bad choices come from two areas - laziness and ego. Lazy choices are simple, you don't go to class or study because you're lazy, don't clean your room because you're lazy, or don't do something you said you would do because you're lazy. Bad choices that stem from ego are usually lazy choices because their easy to make, they're self-serving. I think that a lot of people overlook little choices because they have the mindset that everything happens for a reason. I have never agreed with this way of thought because I feel like it takes away from the importance of my decisions and it takes out the element of control that I have in my life. Saying that something happens for a reason is a person's way of coping with it. I've just never acquired that mindset, I like to think of what I did right or wrong, that allowed for it to happen. "We are in charge, we are in control, and we have power to change our lives." - Coach P

Excuse me for writing a lot or contradicting myself at times, but like I said earlier, I'm trying to figure it all out too. Coach P's book gave me a lot to think about, but she must know what she's doing considering the fact that she is the first coach in Division I history to win a conference championship as well as the only coach in NCAA history to be named coach-of-the-year in four conferences. I do have a number of role models who are coaches so I see a lot of different ways to run a program, but this past week when I interviewed the Head Men's Basketball Coach at Ottawa (who has had a pretty good career himself) about teaching philosophy, I received the best advice I have received in a long time - be sincere and true to yourself. You can model those who are great, but you can't try to be them.

The Shortest Path Between Two Points

We all learned as children the answer to the following question - What is the shortest path between two points? Answer - A straight line. This past weekend I learned that the shortest and/or quickest path between two points is NOT found in the states of Kansas, Arkansas, or Oklahoma. 

I decided that since we did not have anything scheduled on our final Friday before basketball season started that I would drive down to Shreveport and visit my mom. I knew going into it that I would really only have one full-day, but I figured my mom would enjoy it and I wanted to see where she is living. 

So, Friday morning I took off from Ottawa at 6:20am, hoping that I could cut some time off of the 9 hour and 45 minute drive - I mean, they always over estimate on time...right? I had asked some people if they thought I should go on 71 through Missouri and Arkansas or 169 through Oklahoma. Everyone said 71 but that they didn't know what to expect when I hit Arkansas. For some reason, I feel like that sentence gets said about Arkansas a lot. Another issue is that when I loaded my map it was 30 total directions...17 of those were just to get out of Kansas.

As you can see, I chose Route 3. Also notice the lack of major Interstates that run North or South through KS, AR, MO, and OK.

I felt good going in to my drive. I had a fresh cup of coffee and two fluffy maple donuts for breakfast, I was ready to attack anything that came my way. Little did I know that I was going to be in the path of a storm for 5 hours. Now, I'm not just talking about a little sprinkle here and there, I'm talking about a full-fledged rainstorm. I considered multiple times as I was white-knuckling the steering wheel if I should just pull over and stop, but the fact that my average speed was only 45 mph on an almost 10 hour drive told me to push on. Plus, I'm like a cat, I hate to be wet and I look for the quickest possible escape route. I would like to once again note that the quickest and/or shortest route between two points is not found in Arkansas.

This storm might look small, but when it moves in the direction you move it isn't so innocent. It followed me from Ottawa to midway through Arkansas. 

As expected, Arkansas did not have much going on other than a bunch of rain and some really, really small towns. And it would have been a really pretty drive, had I been able to see beyond 30 yards. Either way, I eventually made it to Shreveport.

Spending Saturday with my mom was pretty awesome! I like Shreveport more than I expected and it was cool to get to see all of the places I had heard her talk about on the phone. I also got to see the house that they had bought and helped my mom pick out some lights for the kitchen. We went down to the boardwalk area and did some shopping and just had fun hanging out! It was also nice to be around someone who does stuff the way I do. That might sound weird, but with all the change that has been going on in my life, it felt like a weight taken off to be able return to a bit of normalcy. Even if it was only for about 40 hours. 

Centenary's Gold Dome

Then, I woke up Sunday morning and left at 8 am. I took 169 on the way back to Ottawa (route 1 above) and it still took me 9.5 hours. So when I go to Shreveport during Thanksgiving, I will be looking for a plane ticket. 

I really enjoy driving, and you learn a few things about yourself when you drive for close to 20 hours in a weekend. First, I really like being by myself. I just like to sit and think, uninterrupted, about anything that crosses my mind. My favorite thought of the weekend was - how would I try and survive if I hydroplaned out of control into a ditch since the last sign of humanity I saw was 16 miles ago and I don't have any cell service? Second, I really like teen pop music. I would like to send a special shout out to my girl Taylor Swift for singing along with me to and from Shreveport. Oh, and Jesse McCartney, One Direction, and the Jonas Brothers for their guest appearances. 

Despite how ridiculous this picture is, it accurately describes my drive. Storm clouds - check. Taylor Swift - check. No sign of nearby humans - check.

Finally, I drank 6 Diet Cokes this weekend driving. 

#BlogSoHard

This post is dedicated to my love for social media. Social media is so imbedded into my everyday life now that I just can't help but love it. I have a twitter (@seagraves22), a Facebook page, an instagram account, and most recently this blog. I just love being connected to people with the touch of a button, I know that it is considered out of control at times, but I like it. In our first basketball meeting this season, I was even introduced as the team's "Social Media Contact"... I wonder if I can put that on a resume? Either way, you should still check out Ottawa Lady Braves WBB on twitter (@OULadyBraves) or Facebook(http://www.facebook.com/ottawa.womensbasketball). We live tweet from workouts, that's fun.

The sad part about social media is that people do not understand how to conduct themselves when they participate in activities such as status updates, picture selection, and tweets. First of all, people are way too negative. It is as if social media has become a contest for who can have the worst day. I'm not into that, I am also not into hashtags such as #suckstosuck. That is just way too much negativity for one comment, plus it means that you're making fun of someone's misfortune, more commonly known as being rude. As for picture updates, I love when people post funny things they see, their animals, or just pictures of their accomplishments. However, social media has taken picture taking to a whole new level. People, especially girls, have to attempt looking "cute" in every picture and strike the same hand-on-hip, butt-out, chest-out, turn-to-the-side, pop-a-knee pose all while wearing trucker hats, tank tops, and fake Ray Ban's and smiling their brightest faker-than-their-fake-tan smile...not cute.

Also, I don't think that people realize that other humans might actually read what they post. Curse words - not cool, talking about drinking - not cool, posting quotes about how much your love life sucks and you want to be with someone who doesn't want you back - desperate and annoying, posting quotes but not quoting them and saying, "I just want to say what comes to my mind" - plagiarism.

Social media is like today's business card! What you put on it can leave an impression on somebody. For example, the title of this post (#BlogSoHard) was inspired by a business card I received from someone at a basketball tournament where I was coaching. This certain gentleman wanted to train my players, I talked to him for a second and he was nice and all so I took his card. While I was walking out to my car, I turned the card over and saw this:

I am attempting to hold back laughter in this picture.

Needless to say, I laughed. Out loud. I also did not pass this gentleman's information on to my players.

Today, Twitter brought me one of the most exciting moments I've ever had, and was what prompted me to write this post today. It was one of those moments where I just totally geeked out, I can only remember a few times in my life this actually happening. Before I get in to why I was so excited, you need some background on my life...

I have wanted to be a basketball coach for just about my entire life, therefore a lot of my role models are basketball coaches and players. I grew up watching the Stanford Women's Basketball Highlight tape from their 1990 National Championship season. So I grew up admiring Jennifer Azzi and Tara VanDerveer. For those of you who don't know those people, I added a link to their Wikipedia page for your reference. I'm lucky enough to have a mom who knows a few people. She played for Tara in college so I have been lucky to meet her numerous times and work at her camp. When I was 8 I met her at a UT Longhorn's game and she signed a 3-point paper sign saying, "Dear Shae, come to Stanford. -Tara" I still have that in a scrapbook, I look at it every once in awhile. She even spelled my name right! And to a girl whose name is always spelled wrong, that means a lot.

I have also been lucky enough to go to six Women's Basketball Final Fours. The most memorable by far was the when my first geek out moment occurred, 2008 in Tampa. It was half-time and I was on a mission to get through the crowd in record time and make it to the bathroom. Of course, my mom had to stop and talk to someone, I remember being annoyed but I quickly forgave her when she said, "Wanna meet Jennifer Azzi?" Um, yeah, of course I did. I think my heart stopped, my palms immediately started sweating, and all I could think about was, "oh goodness, what do I say?" When I met her, I made a complete and total fool out of myself...let me repeat a complete and total fool. I shook her hand and stumbled over the words, "Hi, it's such an honor t-t-t-to m-m-meet you. I grew up watching the highlight tape of your 1990 championship," and next comes the worst part, "I-I-I'm such a huuuge fan!" (Followed by a very dorky giggle) UGH! what was I thinking?! Either way, I met someone who I had admired for my entire life and I still think about that moment probably once every other week.

After sounding ridiculous, Jennifer Azzi was kind enough to take a picture with me. I cropped out the sweat stains under my armpits.

Geek out moment #2 happened when I went to the NCAA Convention this past January. I was sitting at a table right next to Sherri Coale. At the meet-and-greet afterwards, I was too scared to talk to her so I just stared at her like a creepy person...I am probably better suited for a job as a paparazzi than I am as a coach with the track record I am way too quickly compiling. 

My third geek out moment took place today. I have been reading Joanne P. McCallie's (Duke WBB coach) book Choice Not Chance and absolutely love it and I have been a fan of hers since her time at Michigan State. So, naturally, I decided to send her a tweet. Much to my surprise she tweeted me back!!!!!!

How freaking cool is this?! This is equivalent to an aspiring pop singer receiving a tweet back from Brittney Spears, or a scientist getting an @reply from Bill Nye the Science Guy. Needless to say, I jumped up in my chair and danced around my room breathing "ohmygaw, ohmygaw" because I couldn't manage air. I still have butterflies in my tummy thinking about it. I ran and told everyone in the house about what had just happened, I called my best friend, and I called my mom who said, "Act like you've been there before" (an appropriate answer if you know her). But the fact is, I haven't been there. I'm trying to get there. So being acknowledged by someone who is there, someone who has accomplished so much, who you aspire to be like, is amazing. I actually would be worried if at this point in my life I wasn't this excited. I feel like it shows how much I love what I want to do and how much I respect what the people I admire have accomplished.

I hope I have many more of these geek out moments. In honor of today I plan on starting a new twitter trend, where people can hashtag all of the awesome things that happen to them. I hope that it will overtake the negative #suckstosuck. This new trend will be #rockstorock. Cliche? Yes. Creative? Not really. Positive? Heck yeah. Because if you're using social media to talk about all of the negative things going on in your life, Joanne P. McCallie, Brittney Spears, and Bill Nye the Science Guy may not want to @ reply you!

***Special thanks to my mom, she has a hand in everyone of my geek out moments in some way shape or form***

Look at what Momma Seagraves is holding...a Diet Coke. 

Saturday. Home. Duke.

I had a pretty busy week so I went to sleep last night at 10:45. This is really early for me lately so I was pretty happy with myself. Sadly, I woke up at 7:30. I'm not very good at sleeping, it's a skill that I have never mastered and I don't think that I ever will. Yes, sleeping is a skill. I do not have the ability to lay in bed and try to sleep if I am not exhausted, it doesn't work. I just feel like I am wasting my time, why would I want to lay in bed if I could do anything else? I am unable to sleep past 8 hours unless I have just spent the last 48 hours without sleeping! So I was actually pretty surprised I even made it to 7:30 this morning.

The beauty of waking up early is that I can get a lot done. So far today, I have cleaned my room, vacuumed, ate breakfast, played around on my iPad, played some xbox, started some stuff for class, laundry, and am now writing this blog (It's 11:30)! So I feel accomplished. This is good because I plan on spending the next two days doing absolutely nothing but watching football. Right now I'm watching UCF v. Ohio St. My mom will be happy with this next comment, "Go Buckeyes!"

A week ago I went back to Georgetown to help my parents move out of our house. In reality it turned more into going through my stuff and hanging out with my friends, dog, and parents. I was pretty nervous going in to this whole experience because I didn't know how I would react to moving out of the house I grew up in. We lived there for 20 years, it was what I always called home. Even when I lived in Memphis or on campus at SU, I always referred to it as "my room," never home. Home is a big word for me, we had a thing on our wall for awhile that said "Home is where you hang your heart" and I fully agree with that. Home is where you're surrounded by people you love and love you in return, it's a place you feel safe, and a place that you feel rooted. I feel very uprooted right now. Yes, I am very lucky, I'm going to school, getting experience, and I do have a roof over my head, but I just don't feel like I have a home right now. My mom is off in Shreveport, my dad is in Georgetown until he can get out to Shreveport, and my brother is back in LA. It's just crazy. My best friends are 11 hours away. I don't like to think about it. New topic.

Duke in his new habitat

Upon all of the moving that has been taking place, Duke had to find a new place to stay. I feel like if you know me for more than about an hour you will know that I love my dog and you will have probably seen a picture or 12 of him. So, being away from him has been really tough! Luckily, I have some great friends who like dogs and graciously accepted the offer of Duke staying with them. I got Duke from the Gtown Animal Shelter over a year ago (April 4, 2011 to be exact) and he is awesome. He was a little rascal at first and he still has his moments, but Duke just wants your lovin' and wants to snuggle at any chance possible. He also loves to hunt, chase, catch, toss around, and bury squirrels (in that order). He like to go on walks, go in the car, snuggle, and sleep.

Even though moving out of the house was hard, one of the hardest parts so far has been being away from Duke. I feel like the worst owner ever, I abandoned my dog...who does that? It makes my heart hurt thinking about it. I worry about him constantly and I miss him a lot. I probably annoy my friends by asking about him all the time, but I think about him all the time. I can't help it. I just really can't wait until I can see him again and that won't be until Christmas so hopefully I can make it that long.

Other than looking cute and being an exceptionally patient hunter (seriously, he sits and stalks squirrels for hours at a time) Duke has one trick, rollover. Above is a video of me and Duke showing off his skills while we were moving.

I really miss home, Duke, my friends, my family, and Georgetown in general. The past week has been pretty rough, I cry a lot and it's not even under my control...it just happens. I'm really lucky to have a great best friend who lets me complain about anything to her even if I was sad about the same exact thing the day before. I have been trying a new thing the past few days, if I am upset about something I only get five minutes to be upset about it and then I have to move on. It usually works, but sometimes I just think about it a few hours later...but I get 5 more minutes then I have to think about something else. I'm not a bundle of sadness walking around, but I just think about the things I miss a lot.

Good news! I learned yesterday that my best friend is visiting Kansas October 12-15. I can't wait! So knowing that I will see someone who means so much in about a month is super exciting. Then I'll go to Shreveport during Thanksgiving and then Georgetown at Christmas. That is all the positive I need! Woo!

In honor of the excitement, I will end this post with a montage of Dukerson. Enjoy!

Duke lookin' cute

Duke lookin' comfy

Duke lookin' asleep

Duke lookin' at a squirrel on a walk.

Fifty Shades of Twilight

I just returned from a trip to Georgetown. We moved out of our house, I said goodbye to Duke again, and I cried about 100 times. Since I just don't want to think about any of it right now I decided to write a blog. My trip blog will come in due time, just right now isn't necessarily the best time because my tears could possibly short out my computer and that wouldn't be fun either. I can't promise much on the quality of this blog, just chalk it up as a "case of the Monday's."

I love to read. I'll read just about anything, I'm not very picky at all as to what genre of book, I just love reading. Reading is simply amazing, it's an escape from reality and you get to subconsciously morph into another person and experience things that you may never have a chance to experience. I love the way books feel, and smell, and how the pages crinkle when you make a wave out of them. I have always wanted to own a used bookstore ever since The Bookshelf went up in the strip center next to Jiffy Mart when I was little. I sometimes walk in bookstores simply to touch the books. Weird hobby? Yes, but there are definitely stranger hobbies and more dangerous hobbies that I could have. Book touching is a law-abiding hobby. Plus, I don't even buy the books, I just like to check up on them and make sure they're doing okay. So, book touching is actually a very economical hobby as well.

I like to check out the books that are making a lot of noise in the press and just see what all of the hullabaloo is about. Sometimes, this practice takes the "simply amazing" out of my reading description, but you live and you learn...or you attempt the sequel and that sucks too. To explain, on the way from Dallas to KC I finished Fifty Shades Darker, the second book in the Fifty Shades series. I read the first book in July and decided that I might as well give the second one a try, I realized about a third of the way through that I would not make it to the final book due to one reason, annoyance. For those who don't know and have just been avoiding any daytime television show, the series follows the relationship of a recent college graduate, Anastasia Rose Steele, and her new boyfriend/business mogul/billionaire, Christian Grey. Very early on you learn that Christian likes to have submissives and just have a bunch of sex...hence the series being termed "mommy porn."

Mommy porn. So scandalous that Wal-Mart shrink wraps them...just like Playboy.

In my mind, Fifty Shades is simply a grown up Twilight book, that's why it was annoying. Ana is some poor little girl who hasn't experienced much of life and in swoops this mysterious, good-looking dude with a bunch of money and she turns to jello and can't manage breathe another breath without him being all moody around her. Ugh, I simply can't take it anymore. Christian and Edward (from Twilight) are practically the same exact character - moody, mysterious, good-looking, annoying. Seriously, if you take away the whole vampire thing that Edward has going on, you have a Christian. Also, Ana and Bella are the same too - shy, no backbone, depressing, annoying. I apparently enjoy making lists in my posts, so I am going to make another one.

How Fifty Shades and Twilight Are Identical

1. Christian and Edward were both adopted - sure Edward was turned into a vampire first, but the facts are the facts.
2. Christian and Edward can't be touched - since I haven't finished the whole series (or I just skimmed this part) I'm like 90% sure it was because Christian was beaten by his mom's pimp so he has an emotional issue with being physically touched in certain places. And Edward can't be touched because he is a vampire and will want to kill you if you get too close.
3. Anastasia and Isabella - both use their nicknames Ana and Bella. Coincidence? I think not.
4. Ana and Bella both have guy friends that are "exotic" - Ana has Jose. Bella has Taylor Lautner. Sure Bella's boy-on-the-side is a werewolf and therefore more exotic...but they're the same dude. Also, Jose takes creepy pictures of Ana without her knowledge...now that is a weird hobby (and probably not law-abiding).
5. Both couples can't "survive" without their significant other - When Edward runs away from Bella she goes crazy and has hallucinations. When Ana and Christian break up for an entire weekend, Ana sleeps with a deflated helicopter balloon. I'm really not sure who wins the battle of weird in that instance. My vote goes to Ana because it was for about 48 hours AND who sleeps with a deflated balloon?! She couldn't just like pin it up on the wall and get a Pillow Pet or something? Whatever, to each their own.
6. Eyeballs - Ana always talks about Christian's steel grey eyes and how hot they are. If Edward's eyes are black and not amber, it means that he wants to eat you. 
7. Weak women- I don't want to turn this into a post on feminism or anything, but I can't take anymore stories about women who just can't survive without dating or marrying or having sex with a guy. If I read another sentence along the lines of, "I don't know how I breathed before I met my moody boyfriend who is way too controlling, good-looking, perfect, and freaking annoying," I might go insane.

The last sentence just got me all worked up. In novels, I want to see more people who just do what they want to do because it's good for them, male or female. I watched Brave this summer and I thought that Merida was the perfect example of a badass, go on your own, do what you want, fight a bear, and make a deal with a witch type of character that we need to see more in books and movies and in the real world alike. Plus, Merida had some sweet hair. I really like red-headed people, they're unique, and most of the red-heads I've met are really nice; Conan O'Brien seems fun and I babysat a red-headed baby once and she was awesome. 

Merida

See, that's the type of take-no-crap attitude that we should be reading about. She's fighting against getting a suitor, not begging for one to turn her into a vampire or whatnot.

That is why I gave up reading the Fifty Shades series.